Tag Archives: Teaching English Shanghai

On mid-term exams and anger

24 Nov

Last week was exam week and so I am left with about 80 copies to correct. It’s really no fun for 90% of what I read and definitely the bit of the job that I hate, especially when I see zero efforts put into the answers. I have to say that some students also do not understand anything that I say, when I say anything I mean absolutely nothing. I knew that before, I may have not grasped to what extent their knowledge of English was non-existent from week 1, but by the mid-term exam it was crystal clear.

Of course, when I try to speak to these specific students in class and try to get them to understand something or get an answer from them, all I get is: “Tā shuō shénme?” (What is she saying?), “jiù shì, jiù shì …” (it’s just that, it’s just that…). Yet, when it comes to the exam and they realise they can’t do it at all, one idiot somehow manages to muster a few words to try and bribe me… It drove me absolutely crazy!!! All I’m tempted to do is write a nice big “Fuck off you *@!?/&@%^&*^%!” as an answer and get out all the frustration pent up from teaching these spoilt brats and from the university’s ill-adapted curriculum.

Young Chinese English names

21 Oct

I’ve started teaching English in a university, which I shall not name in order to be able to speak freely and not cause any embarrassment to anyone working or studying there. It’s a good change but it’s also a tough job as the students have a lower level than what I expected, given the class books the administration asked me to teach from.

I teach kids who are between 18 and 20 years old. Regardless of their age, they are all freshmen students. Most of them come from Shanghai or cities around, such as Hangzhou, Suzhou or Ningbo. A small number of them come from further afar. As far as I know, there are no or extremely few students from abroad, except from Taiwan, which people in the People’s Republic of China probably don’t consider to be “abroad”.

Before becoming aware of the kids’ English level, I was mostly surprised, not to say totally bewildered, at their choice of English names. I may have mentioned this in a previous post, but basically it is quite difficult for us foreigners to pronounce correctly Chinese names (because of the tricky tones), let alone remember them. Likewise for Chinese people with our names. So we all play each other’s game by choosing Western or Chinese names to make things a little bit easier for everyone. In my classes for example, I’ve got many very classical – if not old fashioned – names such as John, Kevin, Karl, Sylvia, Georgina, Rose, Wendy, Maggie etc. There are some original but totally acceptable ones: both Coco and KiKi, Young or Aster. But a few students have taken that practice to a whole new level. Please meet: Black, Lion, Lucifer (wtf???), Dolce (where is Gabbana I felt like asking him), HoC, Krayza (everytime I speak of him, I say he’s a gangsta and move my hands rap-style), Phoenix (a girl), K.O. … The other day I met one of the original kids in the tube and took the opportunity to privately ask him how he had chosen his name. He said he was inspired by a little known Canadian basketball player…

It must be fun to give yourself absolutely any name you want, just to be understood by your English teacher. Also, it’s not official at all except for the university administration and still there’s room to doubt that. I’ve had two or three students who had different names in different classes. Thankfully, I am fairly good at recognising faces and therefore asked those whom I did recognise to stick to a single English identity in all their classes.

I’ve told this to many of my friends and so those of them who will read this will not find it very novel. I just thought it was both interesting and hilarious and, mostly, made a good story. That was until tonight when I met J., a lovely girl, who works for a big international bank here and also has a colleague called Lucifer. She then completely killed my story by telling me than one of her colleagues is called Watchman and another one called, brace yourselves, … … … … Durex!

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