Why do I…

4 Jan

… put myself in odd situations? Now that I feel a bit more settled here and that the weather is too cold most days to do long walks, I have started going back to the gym. After two weeks of procrastination (technically one as we were in the Philippines for Chinese New Year), I finally put on my trainers and sportswear and headed to a 45 minute “Basic Aerobics” class, starting at 19:05. Although I am not at all a fan of aerobics, I thought it would be soft way to re-awaken my numbed muscles.

After making sure I wouldn’t be the only one to attend this class, I went into the studio only to find myself with about 25 mid-aged Chinese women and the male instructor. They obviously all noticed me but never looked directly at me. Conscious of the awkwardness of the situation, I really couldn’t help myself from having a big smile on my face.

The class started with some warm-ups. We then did a few basic moves which I was able to follow fairly well. Then the teacher started to get into a frenzy of various moves, which all formed a routine. I did my best to follow and was able to do it to some extent, but nothing compared to the ten women standing in front of me.

At 19:15, I was out of breath, had a look at the watch and thought I’d never make it until 19.50. I tried to follow the routine, but couldn’t help being distracted by the instructor’s shouting, alternating between “four, three, two, one!!” and “sì, sān, èr, yīīīī!!!!”.

At 19:25, the routine felt more like the behaviour of an overly drunk and excited clubber. I really wanted to get out but made it a point to stay.

At 19:30, although the class was losing more and more people but gaining spectators at the door, the instructor maintained his weird choreography, adding twists and moves and occasionally turning around like a princess with his arms lifted at waist height.

At 19:37, I was really ready to leave but then Madonna’s “Hung up” came up and gave me an extra boost.

At 19:45, it felt like that wretched watch was broken and just would not move to the next minute… At some point, I just gave up and exchanged compassionate and amused smiles with a Chinese lady, also unable to follow.

At 19:50, we were only 10 survivors to leave the class.

3 Responses to “Why do I…”

  1. Zedoude 15 February 2012 at 18:26 #

    Always thought that aerobics was a joke for girls who can’t be bothered to do any “real sports”. Obviously, I got challenged by a group of girls to do it. Being very sure of myself and all I went “challenge accepted!” and went to an aerobic class.
    I was the only guy when I got there (of course) and there were about 20 girls and a Martian, the instructor. I went all the way to the back to watch the nice bottoms as the class started. Around 30 minutes later I was dying but trying to look as if all that was soooo easy… 10 more minutes and I was trying to hide behind anything so that the instructor wouldn’t see me cheating here and there.
    I did make it to the end and that was probably one of the longest hours of my life!! At the end of the class the girls asked me how was it. “Piece of cake” I replied between 2 breaths (not in front of the instructor, I mean Martian) and never did it again (no reference to Britney spears here).
    That was 10 years ago…
    Wilk brava bella anatra!!!

    • L. 16 February 2012 at 16:38 #

      Hehe, no it’s not easy. That’s why I never usually attend aerobics classes and don’t intend to anymore… It’s either a mix of torture and humiliation like you described or just totally useless. I’ve since attended two spinning classes – very efficient but equally torturous. The instructor is a tiny Chinese girl who puts on a vicious smile (like an evil Manga character) every time she wants us to go up a notch… I’m ashamed to say I can’t lift my ass from the seat – just too painful on the knees’ muscles and I haven’t got the endurance required.

  2. Michel Abou-Obeid 26 February 2012 at 02:49 #

    salut joli canard sympa ton blog

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